{"id":196,"date":"2015-04-06T21:18:47","date_gmt":"2015-04-07T01:18:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/?p=196"},"modified":"2017-03-15T20:33:55","modified_gmt":"2017-03-16T00:33:55","slug":"tree-limbs-and-wifegirl-from-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/?p=196","title":{"rendered":"Tree Limbs and WifeGirl from Heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"

When we last visited HomeOwnerMan, he was flat on his back repairing a lawn tractor.\u00a0 Today, as we look into the sky, we find HomeOwnerMan high atop a poplar tree, preparing to carry out some necessary and overdue pruning to the oversize sedentary creature.<\/p>\n

As he looks out over the Metropolawn skyline from his perch, his eyes come across Wife Girl tangling adeptly with a pressure washer and a moderately soiled deck railing.\u00a0 His gaze lingers just a beat too long on Wife Girl however, triggering her arachnid sense as she feels the eyes on her.\u00a0 She turns nonchalantly and smiles at Homeowner Man, who suddenly feels self-conscious that he is wearing tights and a cape.\u00a0 He\u2019s always longed to be more than a Superhero associate to Wife Girl, but knows that the life of a Superhero is a solitary one.\u00a0 Besides, she always seemed more attracted to Brown Lantern, the Delivery Guy.\u00a0 Still, he wonders for a moment what she looks like under her Spandex Lycra suit, but resists the temptation to invade her privacy by using his X-ray vision to find out.<\/p>\n

\"DSCN2301\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Using the chainsaw devise he borrowed from Neighbor Man, HomeOwnerMan makes the necessary cuts to fell the lifeless branch, dropping it two stories onto a picnic table.\u00a0 Scampering down, HomeOwnerMan saws the branch into 12\u201d pieces only to find that \u201cdivide and conquer\u201d are not always the best way to defeat a foe.\u00a0 For each of the segments fought back by becoming like lead weights which needed to be carted and stacked at the edge of Metropolawn.\u00a0 In blazing heat, HomeOwnerMan painstakingly carries out the task, until at last there are only brush and twigs remaining.<\/p>\n

A new day dawns as HomeOwnerMan gathers the twigs and brush, processing it into small wood chips using the chipping device with which Jeeves had outfitted him.\u00a0 Jeeves, always the prankster, made the device just a little difficult to start such that HomeOwnerMan is nearly tired out by the time he fires up the device.\u00a0 Undisturbed by this minor inconvenience, HomeOwnerMan carries out the bone-jarring task of chipping the waste.\u00a0 Again, the sun did its worst to desiccate HomeOwnerMan, but drawing on sheer determination he gradually amassed a one cubic yard pile of wood chips.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t rest, though, until the chips are safely in their mulch pile.<\/p>\n

HomeOwnerMan \u2013 making the ordinary Extra-ordinary.<\/p>\n

[Originally posted on FaceBook 05\/30\/2011]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we last visited HomeOwnerMan, he was flat on his back repairing a lawn tractor.\u00a0 Today, as we look into the sky, we find HomeOwnerMan high atop a poplar tree, preparing to carry out some necessary and overdue pruning to the oversize sedentary creature. As he looks out over the Metropolawn skyline from his perch, … Continue reading “Tree Limbs and WifeGirl from Heaven”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[10,12,9,11],"class_list":["post-196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-homeownerman-episodes","category-uncategorized","tag-diy","tag-home-ownership","tag-humor","tag-superhero"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=196"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":199,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions\/199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/homeownerman.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}