Time: The Present, a summer evening.
Setting: Lowes hardware aisle.
Homeownerman: Excuse me. Do you know where I might find hanger bolts?
Lowes Hardware Expert: ____
H: [catching sight line of LHE] EXCUSE ME. Do you know where I might find hanger bolts?
LHE: Hammer holds?
H: No, HANGER BOLTS.
LHE: Anchor bolts?
H: No, HANGER bolts. H-A-N-G-E-R bolts.
LHE: Is the first word “Hanger?”
H: Yes, Hanger bolts.
LHE: What’s the second word?
H: BOLT. B-O-L-T.
LHE: Oh, Hanger bolts. No, I never heard of them.
H: Your website says you have them.
LHE: What do they look like?
H: They look like a lag screw on one end and a carriage bolt on the other.
LHE: I’ve never needed one of those. What would I need that for?
H: I wasn’t buying it for you, I was buying it for me.
LHE: Well I don’t think you would need that. What are you doing? Wait – we do have those over here.
H: That’s great, thanks.
LHE: I went to Pottsville once.
H: Mm-hmm.
LHE: It’s a good beer. I went there once.
H: [realizing I’m wearing a Yuengling cap] Oh. Nice.
LHE: Is it your favorite?
H: It is ok, but I prefer Anchor Bolt Steam Beer.
LHE: I’ve never had that one. I’ll have to give it a try.